i feel super defeated today.

one emotion i've experienced rather frequently in the last couple of years is disappointment. disappointment in myself and in others who are very close to my heart. i left kent because of mistakes i'd made and wanted to run away from. i came home with a small dream of what i really wanted to do with my life, and an even smaller idea of how to get from point a to point b.

now i don't know what the fuck i'm doing.
needless to say, today is not a good day for me. and it's still early...

i know that eventually people are going to let you down. i'm sure that even subconsciously i could be called a disappointment by the people that know me best...but does that justify the emotion?

i'm not sure where i stand anymore. i feel like instead of being at a cross roads, i'm at a dead end with nowhere to turn. thats a pretty shitty place to be...pretty shitty indeed.

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