isn't it ironic...

irony has been the one constant in my seemingly exciting life.
but it hasn't been until today, that i'm able to look back and really appreciate the irony that has shown itself this summer. let me explain...

before i left for school in god awful ohio, i use to DREAM of leaving pittsburgh. i think it's rather ironic the amount of time i spent obsessing about leaving a place & its people for somewhere different, ONLY to happily come back and want to stay. there once was a time where you couldn't PAY me to even apply to Pitt. i'd laugh in your face if you even mentioned it. but as i sit here, and contemplate what i'll say in my admissions essay, it finally has dawned on me that all those years i spent running away from pittsburgh, its people & the problems i've had here, i could have spent all that time making a name for myself instead of being back at square numero uno.

that makes me think of kent, and all the wasted time i spent there also. instead of worrying about everyone, their problems & voluntarily involving myself in their drama, i could have been focusing on myself and learning who i really was instead of working so hard to hide behind this perfect facade of a person.

::sigh:: what to do now?