and now a word from our sponsors| kelly chase on 'hipsters'

My friend Kelly Chase (aka Cashmere Vagina) is the best.

She's as funny as I wish I could be, even on my best day.

A constant provider of quality one liners that will withstand the test of time, such as:

"My vagina is Cashmere coated, and grants fucking wishes"
See, I told you she was awesome.

Here is her recent musings on the hipster epidemic running rampant through our society. Listen, and learn children.

Hip to Be a Square

By Kelly Chase

"Listen, all you little hipster d-bags: it isn't that I hate you. I'm just not impressed. See, I was uncool before uncool was cool. If being smugly awkward and dressing like an overly ironic, self-referential encyclopedia of pop culture past is what is hot right now, I have some year book photos I think you might be interested in. I was an effing trailblazer.

Now, I get that you're 18 and maybe you've started smoking pot and maybe someone gave you a copy of Kerouac or maybe Burroughs, or Thompson or Pynchon, or Ginsberg. Maybe you found an old camera in your mom's basement or maybe someone gave you one of those leather-bound blank journals from Borders. Maybe you just heard Abbey Road on vinyl for the first time. Being that you are 18 and your dreams have not yet been dashed upon the relentless shores of actual adulthood, these things might compel you sit around outside coffee shops smoking clove cigarettes talking about which kind of paper or film or beer or music is the most 'authentic' while wearing glasses with no lenses. And that's OK. I'm not mad at you.

But this is just a phase, right?"

Since this is Christmas/Hanukah/Kwanza/Festivus, make it a point to check out Strike Envy, Kelly's jewelery company, and the only reason she can buy me drinks at bars.

We likes drinks.

[via]