8.17.2008

could it be? does he actually miss me?

Today has been an interesting on thus far.

I didn't have to work today (thank God), and the time off gave way to the idling thoughts my mind creates when I have a vast amount of time on my hands. I've been battling for awhile now about my decision to not head back to Kent. Everything about this decision hasn't quite hit me, until today. Thats because while everyone is on their way back to school, I won't be there waiting for them, I won't be participating in the traditional school things...I'll be @ home grinding my ass off harder than ever before. It just makes me kinda miss what I thought I didn't want.

Speaking of what I didn't want...Is it possible for someone to love the YOU, you love? Is it at all possible for someone to love the person you are, without reservation or hesitation? Is it possible for us as people to love another wholeheartedly, and not make that love conditional?

“Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous.” - Sex & the City

I wonder if he misses me as much as I do him...

::edit:: I'm so amazingly proud of myself it isn't even funny! Usually after successfully making contact with my Mr. Big, I'd spend hours after obsessing and breaking down every little detail to either uplift & give myself a false sense of hope, or use the opportunity to hate him, and hate myself for loving him. Today, none of these things occurred and I couldn't be happier with myself! Go me! Woo!

Maybe Brandon's right. Maybe I'm jaded & cynical. Maybe I expect the worse. But I don't give a flying fuck right now! Jaded or not, I'm happy...YES!

Maybe this means we could be, like friends or something?

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