"Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can come together..."
I have never been lucky with love. Period.
I've been lucky with catching the eye of men, but never quite that lucky with keeping that eye on me...and I have no idea why.
Right now I'm going through a huge transition. I'm relocating, starting/finishing school, checking my emotions (finally); I'm finally making moves towards achieving my wildest dreams...so why do I need a man involved in all of this? The truth is men distract me somewhat. Maybe not from my big picture, but they sure have a way of distracting me from the little goals needed to get to the big picture. And those baby steps are what I need to make it too the top...I just keep letting assholes get in my way.
For example: I met this swagtastic man this past weekend. His style and sex appeal was setting my swag-o-licious meter off the fuggin charts. Thats how great his presence was. And he was quiet & chill (my polar opposite) which is exactly the type of man I like. Anyhoo, he had swag & the looks & charisma, and I we exchange numbers...then the shit hit the damn fan. Y must I get my mind wrapped up in something that so obviously won't amount to anything? The same thing happened with T, Football Player & Baby Daddy (code names). I have guy friends who I can say ANYTHING too and do ANYTHING with (except sex) and I have not a care in the world about how they view me. I'd just like to have someone who I love like a friend but want to rip off their clothes also. It's like those 2 emotional parts of us won't merge...In the world of Usher and Lil Jon...I want a lover and a friend damnit!
So I had made the decision when this summer began to take the steps towards my dreams ALONE, without a companion. It seems like the right thing to do. Spending this next few years single will give me the focus I need to make my little dreams come true while at the same time setting the stage for my big ones...
Some male attention would be nice tho...
Ok, I'm trippin. See what I mean by distracted? Oye vay!