yiddish| #1

[begin thoughtful rant]

When I decide to love something or someone, I make the conscious decision to love hard.
Life is too short to be wasted on indecision.
There is no point in loving slowly, or softly.
No point in loving something over time.
No point in shaping your love to fit a certain situation.
Especially when time is promised to no one.
You never know when you'll have your last day here.
Take your last breath.

The concept of love can take us to new heights, and the lowest of lows.
It has the possibility of bending or even breaking our hearts.
It can take us to places we aren't sure we'll ever come back from.

But somehow, we always come back.
Somehow, I'm always coming back.

Love is so real.

[end thoughtful rant]

taking a mental dump| numero uno.

I have a huge brain. Not all of it is filled with bright shiny objects and ideas. A lot of my brain is consumed with thoughts; things ranging from the meaningless - whether or not I forgot to unplug my flat iron - all the way down the pretty terrifying (what the fuck AM I really doing with my life). Most of the time I can handle the overload, all it takes is a cocktail and a book to take my mind off of, well...my mind, but this time I thought it'd be fun to share the crazy with the interwebs because of it's therapeutic qualities...........................

(blank. stare)

I'm addicted to Tumblr.
No seriously I think I'm officially an addict. A couple months ago I scoffed at the idea of Tumblr. I mean, who really wants a "blog" that you just post pictures on? Who really wants a hassle free way to share your favorite music, video, quotes, and photos while also having the option to reblog your favorite things from other Tumblrs? I wanted that and I didn't even know it. Now before I check my email, I check my Tumblr. I reblog like it's my job. I follow like a pre-teen looking up to Miley Cyrus. I change themes about as often as I change underwear. It's bad. Real bad.

I got Photoshop!
I feel like a new woman. I feel like the dark shadow that was looming over my head like a bad dye job is now lifted. Completely removed. Gone forever. I will never again not be able to resize my gigantic photos. I can download fonts and actually have a place to use them. I can do anything, and it's all because I'm in posession of a program that costs the equivalent of one months rent of a one bedroom apartment in New York City. And I got it for free. God is so good!

Finding writing jobs with benefits is the most terrifying thing in the world.
It makes me want to cry sometimes knowing that the one thing in the world I'd love to do for the rest of my existence on this planet, happens to be one of those jobs that is damn near impossible to find. Looking for a job in New York is shaping up to be the equivalent of looking for size small panties on the last day of the Victoria Secret Semi Annual Sale. One in a fucking million.

The Backstreet Boys are coming to Pittsburgh.
My life is now complete. I can worry no longer whether or not I'll get to see them before I die a premature death involving insane amounts of alcohol. Jesus totally loves me.

Gosh, that felt great!