what the hell am i doing?!

i have absolutely no idea what i'm doing anymore.

no seriously. i'm completely lost!

shoot me.

it's really awkward for me to be in this place. i've never been here before, and to be perfectly honest, i wouldn't wish this place on my worst enemy. it sucks. it really really REALLY sucks

idiot.

'chatting on the phone, can't take back those hours, but i won't regret cuz u can grow flowers from where dirt use to be...' - kate nash (merry happy)

i'm a certified idiot.
idiot.
idiot.
idiot!

i called (i'm a idiot...did i mention that yet?).
i called and i don't know what the hell i was hoping for, but i didn't get much out of it but a shit load of regret. will i ever learn?

why must i keep doing this to myself? it's like i wanna feel bad or something...
alas...i do NOT want to feel bad, therefore i will stop the madness & get it all the way together. before i do permanent damage to my already slightly broken (but on the mend) heart...

idiot.