2.19.2008

Fascination...


Fascination - Kem
Get it Together - India Arie
Sometimes U Make Me Smile - Floetry

"It was fascination, I know. And it might have ended, at the start. A passing glance, a brief romance. And I might have gone, on my way, empty-hearted, empty-hearted

It was fascination, I know. Seeing you under, the moonlight above, baby. And I touch your hand, and I kiss you and fascination, turned to love, baby. My fascination, turned to love..." -Kem (Fascination)

I haven't written in awhile because I haven't had much to write about. I still don't have very much to write about, but I figure if I have this blog, I may want to write in it from time to time. Can't keep my fans waiting, right? =)... Soooo this weekend was a freakin blast! I haven't had that much fun in a long long time, and it was much needed. Thanks definitely needs to go out to mis chicas Elli and Katya as well as my best friend Brandon and my boy Tom...even if he is a jerk...

I got a couple of surprise phone calls that kinda threw me off a little...I played phone tag with the boy and as much as my heart wanted to be in it and talk to him, my freakin head wouldn't let me do it. My horoscope Friday said that last time I listened to my heart and advised that this time I should listen to my head. Normally I don't take into account what my horoscope says, it's just something fun to look at every now and then, but for some reason this one stuck out a little more and spoke to the situation I'm in more than any other time...

I'm beginning to believe that fascination will lead us to do some really dumb shit. Like fall in love with people who obviously aren't in love with us. Fascination keeps our attention, and sometimes engages our heart to feel things our head tells us not to. It can be a good thing...and it can also be annoying bad. As for my situation, fascination began as something beautiful and has ended as something that is getting on my damn nerves. I'm tired of being fascinated with whatever is going on and I need something to take my mind off this crap I'm dealing with...

So, where do I go from here? Leave suggestions please =)
Saharification...ugh!

D'Onna LeSean

2.01.2008

You oughta see me now...


Lesson Learned - Alicia Keys
Still in Love - Kirk Franklin
Sometimes U Make Me Smile - Floetry

"Life perfect ain't perfect if you don't know what the struggle's for. Falling down ain't falling down if you don't cry when you hit the floor. It's called the past cause I'm getting past, and I ain't nothin like I was before. You oughta see me now..." -Alicia Keys 'Lesson Learned'

I think I'm at a turning point. It's one of those times in a persons life where they're at that fork in the road and are not really sure which road to take. I not proud to say this, but I'm scared of the future. I'm apprehensive to change and I hate being placed outside of my comfort zone. I'm not proud of this because it makes me look like a punk. And if there's anything I hate more in this world besides lima beans, it's looking like a punk.

I don't want to be like I was yesterday. I think that God causes things to happen to us, not only to make us stronger, but to grow us up also. He's an amazing guy and I'm not seeing that He's got more power than I'll ever have. So why don't I let Him use me? Maybe it's the fear that He'll let me down like a lot of other people have. Or maybe it's the fact in believing in someone I can't see, or sometimes hear, but can definately feel His touch...

I got something off my chest that I've been wanting too for a long time. I thank God for giving me that opportunity to say what had been on my mind for months now. It's taken a huge load off my chest. Time is important. I don't care who or what you ask, time is an important factor in everyone's life. I hate wasting my time. I think it's stupid and pointless, and I try really hard not to do it too often, because it gets on my nerves. My time is important because my life is hectic, but every single day no matter how busy, tired, or crazy my life may seem I take the time out to communicate with the ones I love the most. When I give my time to someone thats a big indication that I care. When that time isn't received back...well thats when I stop caring. And when an overly affectionate person like myself stops caring. Thats when you know you've lost me...

I'm done blabbing...

Trying to be better than I was yesterday...
D'Onna LeSean

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